A question for you George. You write here about bringing solutions. What do you think about those who say that offering solutions misses the boat unless you first speak people's pain points.
I'll add that you and I wouldn't want to appeal to people's pain in a manipulative way, but what about in an evocative, validating, normalizing way?
Good question... I like to reframe pain points as a doctor lightly tapping a spot to make sure he can prescribe the right therapy. More about it here: https://www.georgekao.com/blog/painpoints
Love these questions Margo!!!! I know you didn't ask me, but I feel so called to write this out. I hope it's okay! If not - please ignore it!
I've thought a lot about what makes something manipulative. I think it's about intention. I post very vulnerable things in my work. My intention is to have invisible journeys be seen. All the invisible struggling I do - my goal is to bring it to light when I'm sharing. That's not when I make an offer. George taught me wisely to separate the two. They don't need to be linked. My message is to be felt. My offer is meant to be shared. There doesn't need to be a bait and switch. Each post, each email, can have one clear intention which can shine through.
Always interested in your thoughts Fi! I love your intention of making struggle visible.
I agree about avoiding the bait and switch. But I still wonder if phrasing the "problem", in a kind way, is better to start with, rather than offering wise counsel without that.
In my posts, I start with hope first, then the pain I'm working through, and then guidance at the end with more hope. So far, it seems to be working. My open rates in loving weight loss are 60% with 14 subscribers. Very small list but pretty engaged. I'm aiming for that
Wow, exactly what I needed to hear today! I really poured my soul into a small group and then I had a part of me – not all of me but it feels like a big part today – who was devastated when the group felt like it had just begun to gel, and then someone dropped out.
I want to offer these really intimate, incredibly supportive IFS process groups for doing your own personal practice, and people SAY they get so much out of the groups — and I’m the kind of person who really gives my all; I commit to bringing everything I have to each group.
So then, when a group coalesces, and there’s trust, and there’s a beautiful container to do the work, my parts start to feel so excited and hopeful about the possibilities of healing and transforming going forward…
And then I have little parts who can’t understand why someone would walk away from such a rare opportunity— it’s genuinely hard to find super deep, super safe spaces to do inner work in groups!
I guess it’s a sense of feeling unseen and undervalued. I do so much work to bring these groups together, and I guess the fundamental problem is that the energy exchange isn’t equal. I’m giving more than I’m receiving back.
So I appreciate this post today. I’m going to process deeply about exactly how to change what I’m offering so that my heart stays safe as I create deeply safe and healing spaces for others.
A question for you George. You write here about bringing solutions. What do you think about those who say that offering solutions misses the boat unless you first speak people's pain points.
I'll add that you and I wouldn't want to appeal to people's pain in a manipulative way, but what about in an evocative, validating, normalizing way?
Good question... I like to reframe pain points as a doctor lightly tapping a spot to make sure he can prescribe the right therapy. More about it here: https://www.georgekao.com/blog/painpoints
Love these questions Margo!!!! I know you didn't ask me, but I feel so called to write this out. I hope it's okay! If not - please ignore it!
I've thought a lot about what makes something manipulative. I think it's about intention. I post very vulnerable things in my work. My intention is to have invisible journeys be seen. All the invisible struggling I do - my goal is to bring it to light when I'm sharing. That's not when I make an offer. George taught me wisely to separate the two. They don't need to be linked. My message is to be felt. My offer is meant to be shared. There doesn't need to be a bait and switch. Each post, each email, can have one clear intention which can shine through.
Always interested in your thoughts Fi! I love your intention of making struggle visible.
I agree about avoiding the bait and switch. But I still wonder if phrasing the "problem", in a kind way, is better to start with, rather than offering wise counsel without that.
In my posts, I start with hope first, then the pain I'm working through, and then guidance at the end with more hope. So far, it seems to be working. My open rates in loving weight loss are 60% with 14 subscribers. Very small list but pretty engaged. I'm aiming for that
Good framework for sharing vulnerable/personal stories while also doing some teaching!
That's a lovely trajectory. Thank you.
Love this sage advice from George Kao. Bringing it to the river.
Wow, exactly what I needed to hear today! I really poured my soul into a small group and then I had a part of me – not all of me but it feels like a big part today – who was devastated when the group felt like it had just begun to gel, and then someone dropped out.
I want to offer these really intimate, incredibly supportive IFS process groups for doing your own personal practice, and people SAY they get so much out of the groups — and I’m the kind of person who really gives my all; I commit to bringing everything I have to each group.
So then, when a group coalesces, and there’s trust, and there’s a beautiful container to do the work, my parts start to feel so excited and hopeful about the possibilities of healing and transforming going forward…
And then I have little parts who can’t understand why someone would walk away from such a rare opportunity— it’s genuinely hard to find super deep, super safe spaces to do inner work in groups!
I guess it’s a sense of feeling unseen and undervalued. I do so much work to bring these groups together, and I guess the fundamental problem is that the energy exchange isn’t equal. I’m giving more than I’m receiving back.
So I appreciate this post today. I’m going to process deeply about exactly how to change what I’m offering so that my heart stays safe as I create deeply safe and healing spaces for others.
Thank you Melissa -- you are speaking to a big part of a lot of us soul-led service providers 🙏🏼
Great insight, thank you!
Thank you!
Congratulations on launching the 3rd edition of your book, George.
If I am not wrong (which I often am - sigh), you launched it via Amazon KDP.
This year I plan to launch a 3rd edition of my book, using KDP for the first time.
I am becoming less and less afraid of the technology that has held me back for so long. Exciting times!